When I was in my late teens a friend of mine, an elite athlete, gave me the most profound yet simple advice that changed the way I would view myself forever. He told me "You yourself have to think you’re great because no one else is going to tell you that you are."
How we see ourselves is more important than how anyone else sees us.
- Acknowledge Your Uniqueness.
Believe in yourself and know that you are one of a kind. In the words of Walt Whitman know:
"That you are here--that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse."
There is no one else like you on this planet. No one looks like you, has the same talents, experiences or perspective as you do. You are unique and are therefore here to make your unique contribution. If we each focus on what we bring into the world to share, there can be no comparisons, envy or regret. We are here to "contribute a verse".
- Give it Your Best.
When you do the best you can, with the best of what you’ve got, you can’t help but feel good about yourself and that confidence comes through in everything that you do.
- Persevere.
Everybody has setbacks and obstacles to contend with. Don’t let them undermine your confidence. Treat them as opportunities to strengthen your resolve and then persevere.
- Overcome adversity.
Overcoming adversity builds and strengthens self-confidence. The greatest songs, works of art and literary pieces have been written by those who have experienced the depths of despair, loss and emptiness and overcame them. Experiencing sadness and loss and then rising above them gives rise to hope and triumph. It makes you stretch and become more than you were.
- Accomplish something.
Set goals for yourself and then push yourself to reach them. Self-confidence soars when you know you can do what you put your mind to. It makes you feel unstoppable.
- Separate Yourself From the Event.
You are not what happens to you or how you believe others see you. In other words, you are not defined by what happens to you or how others see you. You are who you choose to be – a person of character, dignity and self-confidence.
- Confront your fears.
There’s nothing that destroys self-confidence more than succumbing to fear. Everyone feels fear at various times; we’re human, however facing circumstances with courage and poise strengthens character and builds self-confidence.
- Good looks do not equal self-confidence.
Some of the most attractive people in the world are insecure and lack self-confidence. Marilyn Monroe was considered to be one of the sexiest most beautiful people in the world yet she lacked a positive self-image. She misguidedly allowed external factors to determine her self worth. Good looks help you feel good about yourself, but are by no means enough.
- Learn how to give yourself a pep talk.
We all have our down moments, moments of doubt, confusion and uncertainty. When that happens we have to learn how to restore our self-confidence. One way is to understand that everyone goes through such moments. When that happens the thing to do is remember past successes, visualize the desired outcome and keep at it. Practice makes perfect.
