How to Build Self-Confidence
I was in my late teens a friend of mine, an elite athlete, gave me the
most profound, yet simple advice that changed the way I would view
myself forever. He told me:
"If you don't think very highly of yourself, you can't
expect anyone else to think it of you."
Translation - It means that we alone are responsible for
cannot depend upon, or wait for anyone
else's approval. We must see ourselves as worthy and capable of
achieving anything we choose to achieve.
Ultimately, how we see ourselves is more important than
how anyone else sees us.
If we don't work at loving and accepting ourselves,
nothing anyone else thinks matters.
In a similar vein, have you ever felt that you don't
measure up to others overall? In that case, think about how many times
you may have met a gorgeous man or woman and then afterwards forgot how
good looking they were because they had nothing interesting to say or
could add nothing of value to your perspective. I would think it
happens more often than not!
Consider that in an opinion poll done by
Men's Health Magazine
(1,000 American women ages 21
to 54 in two online polls) women rated traits relating to character and
much higher than they
scored those reflecting physical attractiveness.
In other online questionnaires filled out by both men
and women the number one quality found desirable in someone was
'self-confidence'. Physical attractiveness didn't even make the top
The bottom line is that what you think of, and how you
project yourself, is more important than merely having good looks.
Building self-confidence is not only a great way to attract others, but
a great way to feel good about yourself!
Tips For Building Self-Confidence
- Acknowledge Your Uniqueness. Believe
in yourself and know that you are one of a kind. In the words
of Walt Whitman know:
"That you are
here--that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a
There is no one else like you on this planet. No one looks
has the same talents, experiences, or perspective as you do. You are
unique and are therefore here to make your unique contribution. If we
on what we bring into the world to share, there can be no comparisons,
envy or regret. We are here to "contribute a verse".
- Give it Your Best. When you do
the best you can, with the best of what you've got, you
can't help but feel good about yourself and that
confidence comes through in everything that you do. Giving it
your best makes you unafraid to take risks or step out of your comfort
zone - both great confidence-builders.
- Persevere. Everybody has
setbacks and obstacles to contend with. Don't let them
undermine your confidence. Treat them as opportunities to strengthen
your resolve and then persevere. See
Article: The Power of
- Overcome adversity.
Overcoming adversity builds and strengthens self-confidence.
The greatest songs, works of art and literary pieces have been written
by those who have experienced the depths of despair, loss, and emptiness,
and then overcame them. Experiencing sadness and loss, and then rising above
them, gives rise to hope and triumph. It makes you stretch and become
more than you were.
- Accomplish something.
Set goals for yourself and then push yourself to reach
them. Self-confidence soars when you know you can do what you put your
mind to. It makes you feel unstoppable. Likewise,
achieve mastery. Mastery experiences are those for which you know you
have worked hard and sustained great effort in order to achieve success.
Yourself From the Event.
You are not what happens to you, nor how you believe others see you. In
other words, you are not defined by what happens to
you, nor are you defined by how others see you. You
are who you choose to be - a person of character, dignity and
- Confront your fears.
There's nothing that destroys self-confidence more than succumbing to
fear. Everyone feels fear at various times; we're human, however facing
circumstances with courage and poise strengthens character and builds
self-confidence. Put yourself out there! If you're afraid to meet new
people, attend social events, etc. - don't stay home and fret. Doing
builds confidence. Of course, you'll feel, and probably be awkward the
first few times in new situations, however, the more you do it, the
better you'll get, and therefore the better you'll feel about yourself.
- Good looks do not
Some of the most attractive people in the world are insecure and lack
self-confidence. Marilyn Monroe was considered to be one of the
sexiest, most beautiful people in the world, yet she lacked a positive self-image.
She misguidedly allowed external factors, such as the approval of
others, to determine her self worth. Good looks may help you feel good
about yourself temporarily, but are by no means enough.
- Take good care of yourself. When
you are in fit, in good health, and make a point of looking your best,
you can't help but feel confident. This is different, of course, from
comparing your looks to others. It's about being comfortable with you.
Everyone looks good when they're in good shape,
well groomed, and healthy. You can't help but have a glow about you
when you take good care of yourself
- Learn how to give yourself a pep talk.
We all have our down moments, moments of doubt, confusion and
uncertainty. When that happens, we must learn how to restore
self-confidence. One way is to understand that everyone goes through
such moments. Another is to remember past successes, visualize
the desired outcome, and keep at it! Practice makes perfect.
Self-confidence is absolutely essential to achieving
success in any endeavor. You acquire it by doing, learning,
accomplishing, and persisting.
How to Start A Self-Confidence Action
Get Inspired by - Self-confidence Quotes!