10 Ways to Improve Your Personality
Contrary to what you may think, you
Until quite recently it was believed that
personality is permanent.
In 1890 William
James, the famous Harvard
psychologist, wrote in his influential work The Principles of
Psychology, that personality was "set in plaster" by early
This view prevailed for over a century; however, the idea
that personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now
at the point where we realize that we have influence and control over
which traits and characteristics we want to develop or refine.
What is Personality?
The personality is the typical pattern of thinking,
and behaviors that make a person unique.
When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that
they are likeable, interesting and pleasant to be with.
Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that
end, having a good personality is vital - probably even more so than
good looks. In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and
happiness will be a result of how well you interact with others.
Ultimately, it is your personality that determines whether people are
attracted to, or shy away from you.
While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we
have the ability to improve the personality as much as we want. We can
develop or integrate any trait we deem fitting and agreeable.
Here are someways we can accomplish this:
- Be a better listener.
Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was considered one of the most charming
women in the world because she cultivated the skill of being an
exceptional listener. She was known for the way she would look a person
in the eyes, hang on their every word, and make them feel
important. There is nothing more appealing than having someone listen
to you intently making you feel like you're the only person in the
- Read more and expand your interests.The
more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting
you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the
opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with
- Be a good conversationalist.
This relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to
contribute, learn how to talk about it with others. No one
can read about or know everything, so it's refreshing to learn from
others those things we don't have the time to about read ourselves. If
you happen to
be shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk
about what you know. Enjoy the article:
The Art of Conversation
- Have an Opinion.There
is nothing more tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has
no opinion on anything. A conversation has nowhere to go if you have
nothing to expound on. If, however, you have an uncommon point of view
or differing opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to be
with socially (unless you're a know-it-all, of course). A
unique outlook expands everyone's perspective.
- Meet New People. Make the effort to
meet new people especially those unlike you. It not
only exposes you to different cultures and alternative ways of doing
things, it broadens your horizons.
- Be yourself. The next most tiresome
thing after having no opinions is trying to be
something you're not. Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be
accepted, usually backfires. Since each of us is unique,
expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to
be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a
lack of authenticity.
- Have a positive outlook and attitude.
Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have
nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming.
Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your
energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and
things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your
See: How to Think Positively
- Be fun and see the humorous side of life.
enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh, or smile,
so look for the humorous,
quirky side in a situation - there always is one. Comic relief is a
much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and
lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will
naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.
- Be supportive of others. Being
supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can
integrate into your personality. Just as you yourself welcome
it, be the support
for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner;
someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when
- Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being
honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration,
respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's
personality more than integrity
and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.
We humans have the power and ability to shape our
personalities however we wish. When we develop ourselves to be all
that we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the
happiness of others.
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