As I mention in the article Relationship Reality Check, couples often drift apart and lose connection with each other before they realize what has happened.
In some cases one partner has moved on by themselves, or with someone else, leaving the other devastated.
Not only is this sad and unfortunate because so much is lost, but had the couple been more aware of what a successful relationship entails, the devastation could have been prevented.As with most things in life, successful relationships do not come about by luck, fluke, or as a result of wishful thinking. They are the outcome of knowing what you want, working at it, and being flexible with the process.
➢ Have a solid friendship. Nothing contributes more to successful relationships than being best friends with your partner. After all, with whom else do you share the most; have the most in common, or have chosen to share a life? To have your partner as a great friend, be a great friend. Be a friend who shares trust, honesty, respect and dependability.
➢ Be willing to give as well as take. Life has its ups and downs as do relationships. Sometimes one partner may be going through a hard time with a career, health issue, or other challenges. In such situations everyone needs support, encouragement and understanding, especially from a loving partner. If a couple is not willing to be there for each other in difficult times as well as in good times, a relationship cannot strengthen and evolve. Weathering the good and the bad together builds intimacy, character and resilience as it strengthens the bond.➢ Don't take each other for granted. A sure relationship damper is to take one another for granted. As stated earlier, relationships take work and maintenance. This includes paying attention to, and being aware of, each other’s needs, feelings and states of mind. It's very easy to get caught up in the routines of daily chores such as bill paying, grocery shopping and cleaning and in the process neglect your partner. To avoid getting into such a rut, set aside 20-30 minutes each day to talk to your partner about something other than chores, work, or pet peeves. Talk about vacation plans, funny things that may have happened during the day, or interesting items you may have read about.
➢ Communicate regularly. Good communication is
essential to a successful relationship. When people stop communicating
well, they stop interacting and connecting with each other. As
mentioned above, communication is not merely talking about paying
bills, chores, or work problems. It's about asking each other how the
day has gone and listening to the answer.
Be sure also, to take time to discuss any issues that may need resolving between the two of you. One of the worst things that can come between you is built-up resentment or hurt feelings that haven't been expressed. Be willing to admit when you're wrong or when you've been neglectful – or even when you feel neglected. Expressing feelings not only increases intimacy, it allows a couple to know each other better.
➢ Be flexible and open to change. Change
is inevitable in life. Relationships are no different. In order for
relationships to flourish, it is necessary to be able to adapt to the
changes. In a successful relationship two people grow together through
the good, the bad, and less eventful times.
✔ Stay connected
✔ Have a genuine friendship
✔ Maintain good communication
✔ Let go of ego, or the need to be 'right'
✔ Deal with stress, frustration and anger productively; don't take it out on your partner
✔ Share humor
✔ Don't sweat the small stuff
✔ Have self-love, self-respect
✔ Enjoy shared goals and lifestyle
✔ Ensure there is chemistry
✔ Take interest in each other
✔ Make time for each other - build intimacy
While you can be supportive and encouraging, a jealous
partner must deal with the root cause and reasons for their jealousy,
especially when it's unfounded. Conversely, if you are trying
to make your partner jealous, this too leads to problems. More often,
than not, it can backfire and cause different complications.
Ultimately a successful relationship consists of mutual respect, consideration and sensitivity. Attention and working at it result in a happy, healthy well-adjusted couple.