Studies show that likeable people get promoted, elected and compensated more than those who are less likeable. They also tend to get better service from doctors, sales people and servers in eating establishments.
So what makes a person likeable?
No one likes to feel that you are making judgements about them without having all the facts, seeing the big picture or taking things out of context.
We all like to think that we have a fair shot and a clean slate when meeting someone. Similarly, nothing shuts down an exchange faster or puts up a brick wall than a sense that a person is inflexible or judgemental.
2. Be relaxed. Being relaxed yourself helps make others relax. It also sets the stage for easy, open conversation. It is certainly off-putting trying to converse with someone who is tense and uncomfortable.
A relaxed atmosphere allows an easy, comfortable give and take for all.
3. Be friendly. Being friendly is not unlike being open and relaxed. When you're friendly it puts others at ease and helps them know they can be themselves.
It also allows the other party to express their opinions knowing they will be fairly received.
4. Be real and authentic. When a person is real and authentic they behave in ways that are true to who they are and how they feel.
They do not put on a different front around different people or situations.
Likewise, authentic people are not only true to themselves and consistent with their values, they are not afraid to put themselves and their beliefs out there. Authenticity is an endearing and appealing quality.
5. Learn to connect and empathize with others. Fortunately for all of us, knowing how to connect with others is not an innate gift, it can be learned.
Smiling, listening attentively and asking relevant questions in a conversation are all helpful in building a connection. (See also article: The Art of Conversation)
By the same token, there is nothing more attractive than feeling someone is listening to you and cares about what you have to say. Doing so not only demonstrates connection and empathy, it engenders intimacy.
Empathy includes being aware of and validating the feelings and perspectives of others. It is putting yourself in another’s shoes and understanding what they are experiencing. Your likeability factor soars when you connect and empathize with others.
6. Convey an optimistic attitude. Having an optimistic attitude not only brings a ray of sunshine and hope to others, it exponentially increases your likeability.
We all like to be around people who make us feel anything is possible and that things are not as bad as they sometimes may seem.
This, of course, doesn't mean being unrealistic or in denial. It means that things can always be better and improved. People who have a "let's get it done" or "we can do this" attitude are not only optimistic and inspiring, they exude likeability.
7. Remember and use a person's name often. We all like to feel significant and that someone will remember us.
When you remember and use a person's name in conversation and otherwise, they are drawn to you and feel that they are not just a blank or unimportant.
Using someone's name makes them feel like a person rather than an object. It may seem that likeable people are born that way; however, likeability can both be learned and improved upon.
When you choose to improve your likeability by implementing the above attributes you enjoy better health, increase your influence and become more successful in life.