10 Ways to Improve Your Personality
Contrary to what you may think, you can improve
We now know that not only can we improve the personality, we
can develop it in ways we previously did not understand, or believe
Until quite recently it was believed that personality is
permanent. In 1890 William James, the famous Harvard
psychologist, wrote in his influential work The Principles of
Psychology, that personality was "set in plaster" by early
This view prevailed for over a century; however, the idea that
personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now at
the point where we realize that we have influence and control over
which traits and characteristics we want to develop or refine.
What is Personality?
The personality is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling,
and behaviors that make a person unique.
When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that
they are likeable, interesting and pleasant to be with.
Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having
a good personality is vital - probably even more so than good looks.
In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and
happiness will be a result of how well you interact with others.
Ultimately, it is your personality that determines whether people are
attracted to, or shy away from you.
While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we
have the ability to improve the personality as much as we want. We can
develop or integrate into our personalities any trait we deem fitting
Here are 10 great ways to improve your personality:
- Be a better listener. Jacqueline Kennedy
Onassis was considered one of the most charming women in the world
because she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She
was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang on
their every word, and make them feel important. There is nothing more
appealing than having someone listen to you intently making you feel
like you're the only person in the world.
- Read more and expand your interests.The
more you read and cultivate new interests, the more interesting
you are to others. When you meet new people it gives you the
opportunity to share what you know and to exchange your views with them.
- Be a good conversationalist. This
relates to how much you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn
how to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know
everything, so it's refreshing to learn from others those things we
don't have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to be shy,
join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to talk about what
Enjoy the article:
The Art of Conversation
- Have an Opinion.There is nothing more
tiresome than trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything.
A conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound on. If,
however, you have an uncommon point of view or differing opinion, you
are more interesting and stimulating to be with socially (unless you're
a know-it-all, of course). A unique outlook expands everyone's perspective.
- Meet New People. Make the effort to
meet new people especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to
different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it broadens
- Be yourself. The next most tiresome
thing after having no opinions is trying to be something you're not.
Molding yourself in order to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires.
Since each of us is unique,
expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting. Attempting to
be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls flat, but reveals a
lack of authenticity.
- Have a positive outlook and attitude.
Who wants to be around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have
nothing good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming.
Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with your
energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in people and
things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven others with your
to Think Positively
- Be fun and see the humorous side of life. Everyone
enjoys the company of someone who makes
them laugh, or smile, so look for the humorous,
quirky side in a situation - there always is one. Comic relief is a
much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can add fun and
lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy setting, others will
naturally be attracted to you, not to mention grateful.
- Be supportive of others. Being
supportive is probably the most endearing quality you can integrate
into your personality. Just as you yourself welcome it, be the support
for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our corner;
someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps pick us up when
- Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being
honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration, respect and
gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's personality more than integrity
and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for yourself.
We humans have the power and ability to shape our
personalities however we wish. When we develop ourselves to be all
that we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the
happiness of others.
On a related note, having a pleasant, engaging personality is
significantly related to Emotional
Intelligence (EI or EQ). Those of us possessing high EI
invariably have great personalities.
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