10 Ways to Improve Your Personality
We now know that not only can we improve the personality, but we
can also develop it in ways we previously did not understand, or
Until quite recently it was believed that personality is
permanent. In 1890 William
James, the famous Harvard psychologist, wrote in his
influential work The Principles of Psychology, that
personality was "set in plaster" by early adulthood.
This view prevailed for over a century; however, the idea that
personality is more fluid has gained ground over time. We are now
at the point where we realize that we have influence and control
over which traits and characteristics we want to develop or
What is Personality?
The personality is the typical pattern of thinking, feeling, and
behaviors that make a person unique.
When we say that someone has a "good personality" we mean that
they are likable, interesting and pleasant to be with.
Everyone wants to be attractive to others. To that end, having a
good personality is vital - probably even more so than good looks.
In fact, approximately 85 percent of your success and happiness
will be a result of how well you interact with others. Ultimately,
it is your personality that determines whether people are
attracted to, or shy away from you.
While we can only enhance our looks to a certain extent, we can
improve our personality as much as we want. We can develop or
integrate into our personalities any trait we deem fitting and
Here are 10 great ways to improve your personality:
- Be a better listener. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was
considered one of the most charming women in the world because
she cultivated the skill of being an exceptional listener. She
was known for the way she would look a person in the eyes, hang
on their every word, and make them feel important. There is
nothing more appealing than having someone listen to you
intently making you feel like you're the only person in the
- Read more and expand your interests. The more you read
and cultivate new interests, the more interesting
you are to others. When you meet new people it allows you to
share what you know and to exchange your views with them.
- Be a good conversationalist. This relates to how much
you read and know. Once you have much to contribute, learn how
to talk about it with others. No one can read about or know
everything, so it's refreshing to learn from others those things
we don't have the time to about read ourselves. If you happen to
be shy, join a group like Toastmasters that encourages you to
talk about what you know.
Enjoy the article:
The Art of Conversation
- Have an Opinion. There is nothing more tiresome than
trying to talk to someone who has no opinion on anything. A
conversation has nowhere to go if you have nothing to expound
on. If, however, you have an uncommon point of view or differing
opinion, you are more interesting and stimulating to be with
socially (unless you're a know-it-all, of course). A unique
outlook expands everyone's perspective.
- Meet New People. Make the effort to meet new people
especially those unlike you. It not only exposes you to
different cultures and alternative ways of doing things, it
broadens your horizons.
- Be yourself. The next most tiresome thing after having
no opinions is trying to be something you're not. Molding
yourself to fit in, or be accepted, usually backfires. Since
each of us is unique,
expressing that uniqueness is what makes us interesting.
Attempting to be a carbon copy of someone else not only falls
flat, but it also reveals a lack of authenticity.
- Have a positive outlook and attitude. Who wants to be
around people who are negative, complain a lot, or have nothing
good to say? In fact, most of us run when we see them coming.
Instead, be the kind of upbeat person who lights up a room with
your energy when you enter it. Do it by looking for the best in
people and things. Smile warmly, spread good cheer, and enliven
others with your presence.
- Be fun and see the humorous side of life. Everyone
enjoys the company of someone who makes them laugh or
smile, so look for the humorous,
quirky side in a situation - there always is one. Comic relief
is a much welcome and needed diversion at times. When you can
add fun and lightheartedness to an otherwise dull or gloomy
setting, others will naturally be attracted to you, not to
- Be supportive of others. Being supportive is probably
the most endearing quality you can integrate into your
personality. Just as you welcome it, be the support
for others when they need it. We all love a cheerleader in our
corner; someone who is encouraging, believes in us and helps
pick us up when we're down.
- Have Integrity and treat people with respect. Being
honest and true to your word will bring you the admiration,
respect and gratitude of others. Nothing improves a person's
personality more than integrity
and respect - respect for others, as well as respect for
We humans have the power and ability to shape our personalities
however we wish. When we develop ourselves to be all
we can be, we contribute to our own, as well as the
happiness of others.
On a related note, having a pleasant, engaging personality is
significantly related to Emotional
(EI or EQ). Those of us possessing high EI invariably have
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