Relationship Reality Check
Every now and then your primary relationship
(with your spouse,
partner, lover) needs a reality check to make sure you are both on the
same page and in touch with each other.
I've been reading many articles lately about men and women
whose spouses/partners have left them unexpectedly leaving them both
surprised and devastated.
Most of them had no inkling that the relationship was anything
but good. They saw no signs of trouble, unusual behavior, or what was
to come crashing down on them.
How does this happen?
Unfortunately it does happen, and it happens to couples that
allow themselves to fall into an unconscious routine.
They begin to take each other for granted, lose connection
with each other's thoughts and feelings and generally forget to do the
small, considerate things they used to do in the past. It happens more
often than anyone would care to admit.
Before the situation deteriorates to the point of no return,
there are some things you can do to make sure you and your partner are
in sync and working together.
Tips For Maintaining A Good
- Respect each other. Try
to understand each other's feelings and points of view. Don't try to
change one another now that you're in the relationships. You were
initially attracted to each other for a reason. Remember what it was
and continue to appreciate it.
Never underestimate the importance of good communication.
If something is going on inside of you, share it. Don't keep your
feelings, good or bad, to yourself. If you have a problem let your
partner in on it. Work on a solution together. It will create intimacy
and bring you closer together. When something good happens to you at
work or you've achieved a goal, share that as well. All sharing and
exchanging of information brings people closer to each other. Practice
communicating with each other.
- Do the little things.
Be considerate and thoughtful. If you're getting yourself a coffee,
apple or snack from the kitchen ask your partner if he/she wants one
too. When your spouse is tired and sore give him/her a back rub or
massage. Be aware of each others needs.
- Don't get caught up in
the rat race. People get too wrapped up in getting ahead and
the mechanics of everyday living. They rush around doing, getting, and
not taking time to live
in the moment. By not paying attention to each other you can
become disconnected with yourself and your partner.
- Maintain a Sense of
together. Don't take things too seriously. Barring a tragedy, nothing
is so serious that you can't step back and look at the humorous side. Laughter
is contagious and creates intimacy.
- Take care of and
respect yourself. As mentioned in Love Yourself in
order function fully, strive for balance. If you
don't take care of yourself, everything around you will fall apart
including your relationship.
- Have a Life.
Everyone needs a life of his/her own. If you don't have one, you not
only tend to invade someone else's space, you probably become too
dependent and therefore less interesting.
One of the most important things you can bring to a relationship is
your unique set of qualities and a different perspective.
Contrary to what you may think, maintaining your individuality and
having a life of your own strengthens a relationship and keeps it fresh
So before things start sliding or become stagnant in your
relationship, start developing some good maintenance habits.
Communicate, laugh, be independent, take care of yourself and
your relationship will not only survive, it will flourish.
Anatomy of a Successful Relationship
7 Critical Relationship Mistakes to Avoid
An Interesting Person